I have a hard time articulating why the untimely death of Philip Seymour Hoffman depresses me so much. I never met the man. I know little about his personal life, other than that he had been in a 15 year relationship with the mother of his three children. And yet, as I look over the facebook feeds of my friends, theater junkies and civilians alike, there does seem to be a level of mourning for him that seems to match my sentiments.
As an actor, PSH did all the little things your theater professor begs you to do: make strong choices, be fearless, play every small part to the hilt. The baseball fans out there would most likely agree that PSH seemed like the Hollywood answer to Dustin Pedroia. The idea that he would relapse into heroin addiction makes us ask the same unsettling questions that you ask yourself when you watch the Best of Chris Farley: What unbearable demons was this man living with, and how did that affect his art? Am I enjoying the very thing that made him so uncomfortable in his own skin?
To me, Philip Seymour Hoffman will always be Lester Bangs. I would rank Almost Famous as my favorite movie--one that speaks to me in new ways every time I watch it (which usually ends up being several times a year). It's not his biggest role. It's not one of his three Oscar nominated roles, and its nowhere near as physically impressive as his turn as near-midget Truman Capote (which will probably be his most historically remembered role). Apparently, he shot all his scenes in a day, and with the flu, no less. Yet for some reason, when he talks to the young William Miller, it always felt like he was talking to me. I posted what I'll call his "uncool" spiel on my wall in tribute. In reality it's something I felt like Philip Seymour Hoffman might have said to me, if he were my over-the-phone mentor.
We share some background. Both athletes as kids, who got really interested in theater in high school. Both of us have struggled keeping our weight in check, and dealt with the good-ol' Anglo-Saxon pastiness. I have a feeling if we swapped girl stories our love-lives might have had similar arcs and valleys. After all, "girls will always be a problem for guys like us, but most of the great art in the world is about that very problem." I think, if anything, this reminds us all how important it is to find comfort in our own skin. To be able to reach out to others. For someone who I never spoke with, PSH had a profound effect on me, albeit with the words of Cameron Crowe, Aaron Sorkin, and John Patrick Shanley. To all the roles that should have been...it's truly our loss.
